too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
