Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
