Im at strip club and am horny
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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