Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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