I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
