im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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