i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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