sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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