So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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