So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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