saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Is this like a preordered booty call?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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