I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
