Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
