imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
