Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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