In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
