She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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