Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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