I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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