I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
