Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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