Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
why is half of my head shaved?
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