Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
