hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i now understand why vodka
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
