Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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