Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
