Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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