it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
