At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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