u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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