You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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