Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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