We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
