She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
