We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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