i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
