"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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