i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
