I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
