Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
