How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
