honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
