I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
being pregnant is like rehab
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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