We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
