did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
