I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
