Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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