i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
