Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You were trust falling into bushes
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
