i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
