Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
