Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Randomize
